I Am Enough
Years ago, I had a sharp, entirely uncalled-for reaction to a child-rearing decision made by my sister-in-law. She hadn't asked for my advice; I was not kind, and she was hurt. I apologized and she forgave, but the hardness of my response stuck with me and, over days and months, it hardened some more until it felt like a stone in my gut.
I had a reputation in our family, in my work, and even with my friends, for being the one who said the tough things, who didn't pull any punches, who was 'brutally honest.' I’d worn that role for years, with something like pride in my own steely spine and refusal to back down on anything. Suddenly and unexpectedly, I felt exhausted and terrible about myself.
There's a quote from the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron about how, when we protect ourselves, that protection becomes "like armor that imprisons the softness of the heart." I came across that while I was struggling through that period in my life, and a light went on. I'd spent so much effort trying to be the kind of person I thought I should be — trying to be more: more decisive, more resolute, more unflappable, and, ultimately, I suppose, more resistant to being hurt.
Once I stopped pushing so hard to be my idea of a 'better' version of myself, I felt free. I felt softer and stronger. I was more able to notice and tend to myself without needing to prove or fix anything, internally or externally.
Over time, I've come to accept and genuinely love who I am without caveats. Indeed, I am outspoken. I am tough. I am comfortable making decisions that others find difficult. But I hold those qualities lightly now — none of that entirely defines me; I don’t have to strive to be a certain way all the time. That shift came with approaching myself with more gentleness, and that opened up space for me to connect with more sensitivity and richness with others.
We're never going to be happy with every response and behaviour we have in life; I certainly hope I'm always awake to working on something inside myself. But now when I look in the mirror, I see someone I like and love. I am enough — even on the tough days.
With Love,
Danielle
10 comments
This spoke to me deep into my soul where my stone remains 😞
Brenda
Thank you for such a disarming and honest article. Beautiful, truly.
Wendy Wittmann
thank you for this article, As I was reading I could relate to every word you wrote. I had a similar experience with my sister-in-law. We have all grown since 2020 and now trying to find new normalcy since many things have changed forever. We need more love and even more on tough days.
Diana Kayla
Danielle! Thank you for this!!
Totally resonated with me. I too am the teller of hard truths, and I do indeed sheath my heart in armor. In February, something cracked open. I’m stepping back, allowing myself to feel how exhausted I’ve become.
Again, thank you,
Shanon
Shanon
I appreciate the honesty and venerability of your sharing. It does take maturity to open up and be free and comfortable to really connect with people. I continue carrying your stunning line in my store because of the unique attraction I myself and my clients find in it. Every day I get to listen to unique stories my clients share with me and I get to assist them in finding the most perfect talisman that represents how they feel about themselves or the recipient of the gift 🎁. Eternity Fine Jewellery & Heirlooms, Beata Bator, jeweler
Beata Bator
I have waited on just the right Pyrrha. Your story and this pendant speaks to my soul. Thank you.
Lalona Hall
As someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, this means a lot. I often question whether I should get tougher so I don’t get hurt. I think protecting ourselves is necessary for sure, but your post reminds me that I don’t want to toughen up to the point where I don’t allow myself to be openhearted and vulnerable. Thanks for sharing and what a beautiful necklace!
Laura
TY for sharing the journey of your heart.
Blessings of Love and Light,
Deana
Deana M Coakley
Thank you for sharing your stiry. Five days ago, I ordered my first Pyrrha pendant, and it has a personal meaning to remind me during tough days that all of us, including me, are enough.
EL
I feel this in my bones, having taken a similiar path and coming to similar results. I’m growing and giving grace that others are, too. I can be the kid hand on their back while they navigate their growth – I don’t need to be an avil. I can be a feather, and walk through life feeling much more free.
Annie
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