New year new beginnings

 

When I was a kid, fresh starts came easily. My friends and I only had to yell ‘erasies!’ and — voila! — a grudge-free do-over was granted.

Alas, it gets harder (who knew?). Now, I’m a father, a spouse and a small business-owner; fresh starts are not the low-hanging fruit they once were. It sure took me a long time to learn that one of the toughest things about growing up is living with the consequences of regrettable words and actions that cannot so simply be undone. New beginnings — the ones that stick — require stretching and reaching and, inevitably, staring unwanted behaviours in the face even when it gives me psychic hives to do so.

Januarys, then, always require a little extra resilience on my part. There is work to do, and there’s no harder work than actively seeking out and accepting the consequences of those moments when a complementary, all-forgiving do-over would have really hit the spot. Instead, those woeful moments — unfulfilled promises, unchecked negativity, unexpressed love or whatever it may be that sits heavily on our spirits — lie in wait for unpacking by those willing to learn from them and cultivate the courage required to grant themselves their own lasting fresh start.

Happily, over the years my willingness to seek forgiveness and feel worthy of new beginnings has expanded along with my desire and ability to think, speak and act more mindfully along the way. This year, my resolve to spend more active time with my six-year-old has already taken the shape of signing up for a kickboxing class so I can keep up with her. I’ve re-committed yet again to learning Italian but, this time, I’ve asked Danielle to join me (resolutions are a lot easier when someone you love is counting on you).

Alongside those big, visible commitments are all the tiny but enormously significant promises that live in our hearts and call for new beginnings day by day, moment by moment: renewed patience; less blame; and, perhaps most importantly, more courage to make mistakes and move on with love.

Happy New Year; may new beginnings bring you joy.

Wade